Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Happy Fun Team. EEK! A BALL! I could have caught that stupid pass. Eat shit eternally. Your 2017 record: “Tom Brady! BEREFT ON THE TURF!!!!” This franchise has won five Super Bowls and has enjoyed a longstanding run of success that will never be duplicated in this sport, least of all by whoever ends up running this team when Bill Belichick decides to retire to life of carrying around tiny dogs and sucking face with every stepmom in Newport. But no one’s gonna remember any of the good shit. Here is what America will remember about this team i…
The trade-deadline acquisition of Lance Stephenson represented a wager by the Grizzlies that he was misused and underused, that they would be the ones to figure out how best to deploy him effectively, something no one’s been able to figure out since the Pacers. It starts with minutes: Stephenson had his best season when he was starting and getting 35 minutes a game in Indiana, but the Hornets quickly relegated him to rotation duties, while the Clippers could not for the life of them decide if he belonged in the starting five or off the bench, and at what position: they used him everywhere from point guard to power forward, and they used him sparingly, averaging under 16 minutes a night before his trade. The Grizzlies, despite their deeply weird roster, can promise more playing time, w…
On Saturday night, Antonio Brown’s agent, Drew Rosenhaus, told ESPN’s Adam Schefter that a few teams had shown interest in signing the wide receiver—provided that Rosenhaus gave those teams updates “regarding [Brown’s] legal situation and the NFL investigation” following the player’s messy breakup with the Patriots amid separate accusations of rape and sexual harassment. But on Sunday morning, Antonio Brown fired off a chaotic tweet storm that likely changed the tune of those interested teams. First there was the announcement that he didn’t want to play in the NFL anymore: Then there were the shots at Patriots owner Robert Kraft, former tight end and current TV personality Shannon Sharpe, and Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, where Brown appears to be arguing tha…
He pooped on his own balls. But is Piggy Poopballs a Deadspin Hall of Famer? Polls are open through 11:59 p.m. on Christmas Day. As always, 75 percent is the threshold for induction. Other nominees:
Penn State
Metta World Peace
Brett Favre
Bill Simmons
A.J. Daulerio
Is That Pig Who Pooped On Its Balls A Deadspin Hall Of Famer? …
data-mm-id=”_l3ippcdgt”>Joe Burrow won the Heisman on Saturday night. The LSU quarterback capped an insane season by winning the trophy by the largest margin of victory in Heisman history. Yet he wasn't a unanimous selection as 4.5 percent of ballots omitted him. It's time to seriously ask, what are we even doing here?Joe Burrow won with the highest % of first place votes won (90.7), most points as a % of possible points (93.8), most ballots named as % of total ballots (95.5) and had the largest margin of victory (1,846). #HeismanTrophy pic.twitter.com/cFPAtwWwmp— The Heisman Trophy (@HeismanTrophy) December 15, 2019If you didn't put Joe Burrow on your ballot, why do you have a vote and what is the point of this? Burrow led the NCAA in touchdowns and completion percent…
data-mm-id=”_r4jewwvgf”>Ronde Barber has a weakness as an analyst and it has nothing to do with X's and O's or anything else football-related. His Kryptonite is a propensity to let the foulest of four-letter words out while broadcasting. And while adults everywhere can agree the sky is not falling and — gasp — our kids probably already know this word, the FCC can be a bear with its heavy fines. Barber said the big, bad F-word during yesterday's Dolphins-Eagles game while under the spell of Fitzmagic. Haha he did pic.twitter.com/pe1qZIlA35— Ryan Maloney (@_ryanmaloney) December 1, 2019Oops. As Rob Tornoe of the Philadelphia Inquirer points out, things are getting worse. Barber was able to edit himself just in time during a similar situation last year. Ronde Barber sti…
data-mm-id=”_9q23gqeo3″>While all attention is on The Decision, Tom Brady Edition, there are other quarterbacks with futures in limbo. This includes the most unpredictable, or predictable, player I can remember: Jameis Winston. Per Peter King, it's "likely" that Winston is on his way out of Tampa Bay. The Interception King isn't a fit most places, but there are a few you can sell me on as landing spot for the captain of the 30-30 club:Indianapolis ColtsJacoby Brissett is not the answer. Albert Breer reported this morning that the Colts can be crossed off the list of suitors for Brady. And Philip Rivers, who has been a rumored option for the Colts, looked finished this past season. Indianapolis will have to move up from the 13th pick to select Joe Burrow, Tua Tag…
data-mm-id=”_t5wkl1aw5″>On Tuesday, Bleacher Report released a profile on Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver and former top-10 pick Sammy Watkins, and it is the wildest thing you will read today. There are plenty of interesting and perhaps inspiring tidbits from Watson about his struggles with depression in Buffalo and why he struggled so much up north after getting drafted. But most of the interview is about Watkins' world view, more specifically the constant battle of evil vs. good that we all engage in daily. It strays into bizarre territory, to say the least. It kicks off with Watkins explaining the fragility of life as he sees it: “All of the things we think are bad…aren’t bad. God could be Satan, Watkins explains. Jesus could be Lucifer. Watkins started to feel a dragon-like…
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data-mm-id=”_kql8vu7ft”>Patrick Mahomes will not stick to sports. Last week he was one of the main players involved in the Black Lives Matter video. That's why Roger Goodell went on video and apologized last week. That's why the NFL will stand behind players kneeling this season. Because Patrick Mahomes is just starting what should be a legendary career. Patrick Mahomes is an MVP, reigning Super Bowl champion, human highlight reel and the biggest star in the NFL for the next decade if fans are lucky. He is the face of the NFL and he appears ready to speak for those who don't have his platform and make the world a better place for everyone. Lofty goal. Would you bet against him?This is what Patrick Mahomes said about those who ask athletes to “stick to sports” pic.twi…